Two Years – Freedom is a cool thing

Can you believe it’s been two years since I sold my company, ventured into the wider, happier world and started this blog?

I’d love to say that I don’t remember that girl from two years ago. The one who felt bullied and devalued and nervous almost all the time. The one whose stomach rolled at the email notification sound on her phone because it was probably not good. The one who felt guilty for spending time with her family? For having a family! But I do. I remember her.

I also remember though, the strange and uncharacteristic moment where I said one sentence that changed the course of my future. Where I (before I believed or even understood it myself) dared to suggest that my worth was not able to be defined by a single other person. That indeed, I even had worth.

But I did. And I do. And I always will.

And two years on – I still have that hard-won freedom. I use it well. I live, love and grow with my family. We travel and laugh. I work – both in the gym as a trainer and in a community centre helping at-risk children and their families with health and wellness – because I love it and it enriches my life.

Life is good.

If you recognise any part of the old me, that girl from two years ago I have just one piece of advice;

Stand up. It may just be the best thing you ever do for yourself and the ones you love.

Peace Out,

SV

freedom

Can I ask you a question?

Yes, you can always ask me a question. Always.

The other day I had a question pop up on Facebook chat. It happens a lot. Mostly from my friends and family asking when I’m going to make time to see them, because I’m a shocker for getting caught up in my work and kids and forget the bigger world. But this day it was a facebook friend that I have’t actually met in the real world. Someone who only knows me from my online exploits both here, on Instagram¬†and the facebook page.

Do you sometimes find it easier to talk to strangers? I do. What follows is a simple chat I had that answers questions I get asked often, so I thought I’d share. I’m not a bitch, I did get permission to post this here too ūüôā

Thanks for stopping by this weekend. Feel free to connect with me either here, instagram, facebook or twitter as I’m always happy to help out wherever I can ūüôā
SV

 

Friend: Hi Bella hope you are doing well. I have a question for you and hope you can help out. I have an unhealthy relationship with food and would love to just have a freaken healthy relationship with food. I am going to a coach who will help me get the body I want but why is it that every time I go on a new healthy plan I binge eat? Or I want to eat everything because once I start to eat healthy again I am 100% on that plan. Did you had an unhealthy relationship and how did you overcome it?

 

Bella: Yep, I’ve always had a pretty disastrous relationship with food! I’ve swung from starving myself as a teen to being obese, to competing and it’s ALL hard. What has worked for me is not seeing ANYTHING as absolute anymore. I do the best I can each day. As I go to bed I ask myself “What can I do better tomorrow?” and “What went well today?” Sounds lame but even if I’ve had a blow-out binge I can usually see a positive like “I ate really well until 4pm” and it’s enough to stop it being constantly negative the way I find most approaches are!

 

Friend: That sounds like a really good idea. Do you still binge today? Did you find it very hard to be healthy still after your first comp or did you lose control?

Sorry for all these questions

 

Bella: Every now and then. It’s a thing. My ‘binges’ these days aren’t really binges, it’s just things I shouldn’t really eat. But I still work at being positive about my food and mindset. And yes, I found it REALLY hard after competing. Questions are fine – happy to help out. I should blog this conversation as I think LOTS of people would love to ask me!

 

Friend: What or who motivate you after comp to not go back to “old you” binge eat and eat and eat and eat? I am so scared once I reach comp body that after comp I will F it up again. Why do we feel like freaking binge eating? Thanks for answering my questions

 

Bella: I kind of did for a while. It’s about knowing where you are happy within yourself I guess. I don’t need to be as lean as I was on stage to be happy. I eat and train the way I do for ME to be happy. Eating crappy food all the time and feeling flubby isn’t happy for me

 

Friend: That is exactly how I feel! I am sooo much happier with skinnier and healthier me and much more self confidence but o dear do I hate being fat. This is the biggest Ive been and it is a daily struggle. I guess its still a long journey for me but I will get there. Thanks for the chat Bella I really appreciate it.

                

Bella: Any time. It a constantly evolving thing, and that’s okay! We are always changing and growing.

 

Friend: Thanks again for this chat. Not a lot of people understand the binge eating cycle so it was a good chat. I am sure I will still have heaps of questions for you in future. Hopefully one day I can help out people like you are doing now

 

Bella: Of course, happy to help out any time at all. xx

strangers

Bogans and Beer Cans

In my head, I still have dreams that I might one day grow up to be an elegant lady. Highly, highly unlikely given that I am now in my (quite early) thirties but still regularly trip over my own feet, leave the house without brushing my hair, my teeth or some either vital aspect of proper presentation. But most of the time I give looking like a decent grown up a red hot go.

The exception is my slippers. You see, it gets cold here on the frozen island. As soon as I walk in the door, from the months of April to October, I put slippers on. But not just any slippers. Tall ugg boots. The shameful but accurate unofficial uniform of the great Australian bogan.

But what is a bogan? Just in case you are blissfully unaware:

bogan

I should be ashamed. Really. Proper ladies do not wear ugg boots. But I do. However, there are rules.

– My ugg boots must not ever been seen beyond the limits of our letterbox.

– Even then, I must make sure there are no cars in the street if I make the dash to the letterbox with my boots on.

– I will deny, if asked in public. that these are my favorite shoes.

– If the doorbell rings and I don’t know who is there, I take my boots off before opening the door. You never know, Prince Harry AND George Clooney are both still single.

But in my darkest moments, when I worry about my affection for bogan footwear I have one consoling thought;

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (one of the classiest and most elegant women in history) had a proud and very extensive collection of beer cans.

On’ya Jackie.

SV

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Choose Wisely

Choose Wisely

A very wise man called Jim Rohn (if you do nothing else in 2014, look him up and read EVERYTHING) once said “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.

Whoa. That’s a bit confronting to a lot of people. I mean, for the most part we LOVE the people in our lives that we spend the most time with but do we want to BE those people?

What I found really interesting is that there are aspects and parts of all of those people that I would love to have. And other parts that might make me throw myself under a bus if I developed. Focus on the parts you wish to cultivate in yourself obviously. And stay away from buses.

But what if you are bit like me and want MORE?

Well, if that is the case Jim Rohn’s statement is also incredibly hopeful. It reminds us that we are not stuck being who we are now. If you want to be fitter – surround yourself with more fit people. Join a gym, or a running group or a sports team. If you want to be smarter – surround yourself with more smart people. Find a book club, take an adult education class in something that interests you or just spend more time at the library! If you want to be wealthier – surround yourself with more people who have done and are doing well for themselves in business – you’ll find they are more willing and open to sharing knowledge than you think!

The human potential for change and improvement is one of the greatest tools we have in living the life we want.

So consider the top five, top ten, top twenty people in your life. Acknowledge them for the characteristics they have that you admire and cultivate them in yourself. And if your circle is smaller than you’d like or lacking in areas that you wish to be stronger? Take the leap to meet people that you would be happy to become the average of!

Dream Big! Kick Ass! Repeat!

SV

What I’ve learned about binge eating.

I’ve learned that I don’t really do it anymore. At least, not the way I used to.

Previously, one of my ranting “stuff the universe, I’m fat anyway” binges could look a bit like this:

Image

Sometimes better, sometimes worse.

This week, I’d had a big workout, the Captain was away working late and I was STARVING. That deep, annoyed but still not entirely physical hunger. I wanted to just eat and eat and eat.But my meals had been well planned and I didn’t have any ‘permitted’ calories left to spend on my 12wbt plan.

But eff it. I was hungry. Aaaaaargh!! I binged. And I felt bad and annoyed with myself. But then I stopped hating and took stock. My binge looked exactly like this:

Image

Yep, identical to that. It was a wholegrain bread sandwich with lean meat and salad. And a MASSIVE bowl of airpopped popcorn completely free of butters, oils or anything other than a sprinkle of sea salt. The ridiculous binge that I was so annoyed about came to a whopping total of just under 450 calories.

In the top picture is a packet of mint slice biscuits. That’s 913 cals right there. Ouch.

So what I’m taking away from this is that I need to stop hating. I’m really getting this. And no doubt there is going to be days when I eat more than I plan, or things that aren’t in my plan – but it’s okay. That’s life. And these days I live it.

Cheers

Sailor Vee