This Christmas, be human. Make Contact.

So it’s Christmas Eve.

Another year, another frantic scramble to have things ready. I know I’m rushing around like a crazy person. So much to do, so much to do!!

I saw this clip a couple of months ago and even without the crazed pregnancy hormones, it was enough to make me weep.

Have a watch:

See? So sweet.

But here’s a tip. There are people you KNOW, people that you LOVE that might not be feeling that love (or any love) at the moment. For whatever reason.

Here’s what I’d like you to do.

MAKE CONTACT – Seriously, grab your people (I mean whoever is close. Kids/dogs/cats/flatmates/weirdo neighbour Phil), grab your phone, take a silly photo of yourselves and send it with a personalised, individual message to the people in your contacts list that you hope have a lovely, happy and safe Christmas and holidays. It doesn’t need to be an essay, just a “Hey, from all of us, have an amazing Christmas and thanks for being an important part of my life”

For the older people in your life, pick up the damn phone and call them. I know our whole generation HATES making phone calls, but guess what? For the generations older than us, it can be a life line. There just isn’t an app for that. JUST PICK UP THE PHONE.

Put a card in your neighbour’s letterboxes. It’s okay if you don’t know their names, or even if you don’t want to give them yours. A nice “Have a great Christmas and New Year Neighbours! From the crew at Number Seventeen” is sweet, and for all you know may be the only message of joy they get this year.

The thing that makes us human is our relationships. All around us, we are seeing a breakdown in how we relate to each other, how we interact and how we communicate. Let’s be more human this coming year.

Merry Christmas Eve Peeps, you really are an important part of my life and I value you. More than you can possibly know.

With Love,

Bella

CHAPTER ONE – And so it begins

THE DECISION – 21st of June, 2015

Something strange and wondrous has been happening for more than a year. Something I didn’t expect and wouldn’t have predicted.

I was getting clucky for a third baby.

Yup. A third.

Family

Me with #1 and #2. They are aged 8 and 4 now!

We’d never even really discussed it, just assumed that Oz would be our last baby and just basked in the fun and craziness that is our two lovely boys. Oz was an easy baby in lots of ways, and such a happy-go-lucky soul that raising him is a joy. And Mr H is such a little man already at 8 and so smart and thoughtful that life is pretty easy. But somewhere in my brain, the thought of MORE babies was gnawing at me.

I thought it was just me. Just some of the ‘crazy’ that I’m happy to accept as part of my personality. I’ll always love tiny babies, the same way I freak-out with pure joy if I get to pat a puppy or hold a kitten. It never meant that I NEEDED more pets, just that I love them. But I thought it was only me.

It was The Captain who actually brought it up first. He’s an amazing dad. That awesome balance of stern and structured and silly and conspiratorial. And the thought had been gnawing at him in the silence too.

But kids are expensive! Especially when you value good education and good education (IN MY OPINION) is very hard to find cheaply. I spend a lot of money on it, because I value it. And that’s my choice. So what if a baby #3 meant giving that up? Do we not educate a #3 the same way we have H and Oz? Or pull everyone out to a cheaper education? ARGH – it hurt my brain.

But kids are AMAZING! We love our family. We love our boys. We love raising little humans into bigger humans. And what we kept coming back to was the over-arching thought:

In my elderly years, or on my death-bed, will I think to myself “Thank God I didn’t have more children. That money I saved was totally worth it.”?

Hell no.

So we decided that Baby #3 is a thing. A thing we are doing. At some point soon we are going to start trying for another baby.

And I am excited and delighted and terrified.

Pretty much just being a mum in a nutshell.

Stay Tuned,

Bella

Guest Blogger – Nikky from ‘Lipstick and Motherhood’

Hey all – here’s a special guest poster for you today! Enjoy!
Bella

Hey Guys! My name is Nikky and I blog at Lipstick and Motherhood. When Bella offered me the opportunity to create a guest post I grabbed the opportunity with both hands because her blog is simply amazing and I couldn’t wait to interact with her lovely and loyal readers.
I blog about all things beauty and skincare, do reviews on products and tutorials on how to do certain makeup looks. I also like to talk about Weightloss, Motherhood and my love for my Thermomix. I have been on a weightloss journey for 18 months now.
 –

When it comes to weight loss, you mostly only hear success stories. Not many people are willing to say that they’ve tried and failed. As a matter of fact not many will tell you that they’re even attempting to lose the weight. I will put my hand up and admit that I’m one of those people. There are 2 people who know that I’m actively trying to lose weight and I know that they’re my biggest supporters.

Why won’t I tell anyone else? Because weight loss does not come easy to me. It never has and I don’t think it every will. See people who don’t have much weight to lose and haven’t struggled with it before just don’t understand how much willpower it takes to lose a single kilo.

Your willpower has to be strong, your mind set has to be in the right place and you have to be better organised than the military.
What goes wrong for me? The mind games. I have never understood struggle until I decided to loose the 40kg that I had in excess.  I want to lose it so bad, but my mind plays games big time. If I have a bad meal I would just go ahead and make it a bad week. If I miss one exercise session than I just don’t feel motivated enough at the next one and when the scales don’t place nice and show you’ve had a gain when you’ve worked really hard than that becomes very discouraging.  And then the roller-coaster starts all over again where bad eating is involved.

Nikky Nikky3 Nikky2

The mind is a funny thing. It can either help you get to where you want to go or really sabotage you.

I would love to know how the lovely readers of Sailor Vee have overcome this struggle and made their weight loss journey a successful one?

Nikolina xx

The blog post in which a tabloid magazine perpetuates body shaming…

New Idea LOVES to highlight a story in a way that makes us want to kill someone. Or at least hate them. And if they are working hard, they can make a reader hate someone AND themselves at the same time.

This week, it’s Sally Brouwer, a fitness mum of triplets who apparently preaches…

“Laziness is why we’re obese,” says controversial mum of three Sally Brouwer.
Do you agree with her, or is weight a far more complex issue?

New Idea Sally Brouwer

If that isn’t a desperate call for trolling and likes/comments/fury on their website and facebook page I don’t know what is. But all activity is apparently good activity in an age where print media is fighting hard to prove it’s not completely obsolete.

In this glimpse of the article, it is PAINFULLY obvious how hard they are working to provoke a fat/thin debate. They make her almost totally un-likeable. By letting her air views of disdain about those “struggling with your waistline” and statements starting with “If all mums took the time to look after themselves…” spaced with photos of her competition-ready six-pack abs – the magazine is cleverly making mums feel bad about themselves and their bodies and in turn many will feel angry towards Sally and hers.

Body shaming in the media is rife. And wrong. But damn, it sells copies and generates activity on the internet. Who is winning in this scenario?

The thing is – aside from the disdain I have for being manipulated by the media – I disagree with Sally Brouwer’s comment that “laziness is why we are obese”.

I have lots of fitness friends. Some who have come back to fitness after being athletes in the past. Some who arrived at fitness from being unfit, skinny, uninterested or just not motivated. But the ones who ‘get me’ are the ones who’ve come from the places that I have. To come back to a fit and healthy body from obesity is a totally different game.

It’s no secret that one of my favourite fitness friends is Cathy Sheargold, who posted this amazing response today.

Someone who has not been obese will never truly understand it, laziness has nothing to do with it. We all wear our pain in different ways, my way had me weighing somewhere over 150kgs.

If anyone tells you that dropping weight is simple math they’re wrong.

I think that’s why people quit so often – no one tells them that the biggest journey will be your heart and your head. No one tells you that each kilo holds some old pain that we store away. No one tells you about the tears.
So we get to the tears and then we think – ‘well, I’m crying so obviously I should quit.’
A lot of people do quit and they head to straight to the tim tams to hide that old wound again – directly onto their thighs.

I love how Heidi Scott Wilson put it:

“My journey I best describe as unrolling a roll of hand towel. I had to take off one piece of towel (kg) at a time and with every piece (kilo ) there was a different emotion i had been protecting that I had to battle. Not all fat people are lazy i know i wasn’t i just had that many layers protecting me from the past . It took 67kg for me to get to the hard core of that roll and work out who I really was because i had been hiding for so long.”

 

Pretty much that.

Even today, Coach Joe will at times pull me up on something I say and remind me it’s a “former fat-kid problem”. Our bodies and mindsets are different to those that have never experienced obesity and they always will be. It’s very much a ‘takes one to know one’ issue that people who have never felt that personal burden (in every sense) just can’t understand and in my opinion – should be wary on commenting on.

So – to wrap up this weekend rant:

  • Don’t hate Sally Brouwer because she is fit and lean and looks a certain way. Fit Shaming is bad.
  • I would suggest she and New Idea keep their disdain and provocation of those who are overweight in check. Fat Shaming is bad.
  • Understand that the media is manipulating you. Don’t let it.
  • Understand that you are gorgeous.

Have a great weekend. Do what nourishes you and makes you happy.

Bella xx

 

Two Years – Freedom is a cool thing

Can you believe it’s been two years since I sold my company, ventured into the wider, happier world and started this blog?

I’d love to say that I don’t remember that girl from two years ago. The one who felt bullied and devalued and nervous almost all the time. The one whose stomach rolled at the email notification sound on her phone because it was probably not good. The one who felt guilty for spending time with her family? For having a family! But I do. I remember her.

I also remember though, the strange and uncharacteristic moment where I said one sentence that changed the course of my future. Where I (before I believed or even understood it myself) dared to suggest that my worth was not able to be defined by a single other person. That indeed, I even had worth.

But I did. And I do. And I always will.

And two years on – I still have that hard-won freedom. I use it well. I live, love and grow with my family. We travel and laugh. I work – both in the gym as a trainer and in a community centre helping at-risk children and their families with health and wellness – because I love it and it enriches my life.

Life is good.

If you recognise any part of the old me, that girl from two years ago I have just one piece of advice;

Stand up. It may just be the best thing you ever do for yourself and the ones you love.

Peace Out,

SV

freedom

31 – 45 – 3

I try not to think about numbers too much. Mostly ‘cos I’m terrible at maths and it hurts my brain. But three numbers are rattling around in this little old head today.

31 – It’s my birthday tomorrow. I’ll turn thirty one. Now, this time last year I was filled with fear and disappointment at turning thirty. I felt it was the end of an era in lots of ways and funnily enough (because I had no idea what was to come) I was right. It’s been a mammoth year of learning, growing, shrinking and embracing the important things in life. And because of that, I’m pretty excited to turn thirty one. And I’m feeling pretty happy with how I’m holding up as an old girl!

005

 

45 – Did you know it’s now 45kg (100lbs) that I’ve lost? I didn’t until the other day. As I said, I don’t think about the numbers too much anymore and when I do it sounds a little unreal. My mind is catching up though and I do feel smaller. But now I don’t remember being bigger. Almost as though the near decade I spent overweight didn’t happen. But it did. And I addressed it and so get to move forward in the direction I want to move in for the rest of my life. But what does 45kg look like? Kinda like this:

45kg

 

Or when you take it off a body – a bit more like this:

Before and After 290313

 

3 – It’s the Easter weekend. Surrounded by the Captain and the kidlets, it’s hard to feel anything less than astoundingly grateful. I can’t imagine my life without the three of them and love that we are growing up and growing older together. That makes everything okay.

Have a fabbo weekend and see you soon!
Sailor Vee

Muffin Tops – I’m finally doing it right!

So it’s a public holiday and I’m chilling at home with the kidlets. I’m also prepping for a crazy week ahead.

7 days from now I have a photo shoot so my own nutrition and training need to be wired tight, I’m working during the week and have a babysitter caring for the kids so THEY need to be prepared for and the darling Captain is working like a mad thing and also needs special snacks prepared with love.

So I things that are easy to cook (kid#1 is a junior masterchef so insists on helping), meets my ideals for what the kids and Captain should be eating, low fuss and freezable. Not asking much. Thinking cap on and ….

Behold – a new muffin recipe!

Sailor Vee’s Apple and Blackberry Muffin Marvels

  • 1 ¾ Cups gluten free self raising flour
  • Natvia brand Stevia sticks x 2
  • ¾ cup low fat milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 25g coconut oil (melted)
  • 1 x 400 gr tin of cooking apples (no added sugar, just apple!)
  • ½ cup fresh berries (I used blackberries)
  • Cinnamon

Preheat oven to 200 degrees (Celsius)

In a bowl, combine the milk, eggs and coconut oil. Set aside.

In another bowl, combine the apple, berries, sifted flour and stevia.

Add egg mixture, combine gently (don’t overmix)

Pour into greased muffin tins. Dust tops lightly with cinnamon

Bake for about 20 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.

Each muffin yields:

117 calories, 1g carbs, 3g fat, 2g protein

Apple blackberry

 

Enjoy with the ones you love.

Happy Monday,

SV