Why average is terrifying…

I’m not even going to apologise for not writing recently.

You know the deal by now:

  • I now have 3 kids – aged 9, 5 and 9 months. YIKES.
  • I adore working
  • So much so that I am back working four jobs (2 of which are my own small businesses)
  • I’m married to an equally hard-working shift worker who also works full time with 2 side roles

Life is flipping bedlam.

Really.

I struggle with writing for my own blog because I still struggle with so much on so many levels. I see reminder/flashback posts of what I was doing 2/3/4 years ago and think – wow, this morning I was chuffed that there were clean undies in the laundry basket, enough fruit to pack lunchboxes and I got out of the house remotely on time to get kids to school and myself to the office before I was noticeably late.

And by comparison to other days recently, that’s a fecking high point. Really.

But that’s normal right? A mum of 3, who works a lot, but also wants to hang out with her kids, who would also like to train 3-4 times a week and eat food that didn’t see a microwave more often is going to have those days. Those days where I fail on at least 2 of those points.

So why is it such a worry? Why am I so worried about people think I have an average life?

The truth I think is somewhere in the fact that my blog is still my imaginary friend. I still like to think that I’ve got a wicked privacy lock on here and it’s just my thoughts spilling across a keyboard for me to read at some later day.

And I hate that there is no adventure.

No ticking clock.

No grand achievements.

Me. I hate that. Not that I feel other people will be surprised or disappointed that I’m not a jet-setting superstar with abs and designer sunglasses.

Just the slow march of family life (which I love), of chipping away at work (that I love) in a calm and serene little island home (still love it).

So my options are: become more settled with an average life OR find a way to build a sense of adventure back in. On no free time, little sleep and other things to be spending large amounts of money on (so no selling up to live in a caravan for a year!).

It’s what I’m pondering today. Just being your average Sailor Vee.

What’s on your mind?

Thanks as always for being out there, my imaginary friends xx

SV

family-collage-august16

CHAPTER TWELVE: Pregnant or Fat? Or Pregnant AND Fat?

I made a mental decision a while back that me being pregnant wasn’t going to be about my weight, or my body or any sort of struggle around those things.

For a health and fitness blogger, I just really don’t care that much in the scheme of growing a human.

I do absolutely respect people who maintain their super athletic bodies during pregnancy. I love people who continue to train and be bad-ass heavy-lifting, marathon-running gym girls right up until the day their little human/s arrive.

But it’s not the be-all and end-all of my life, and certainly won’t be of this pregnancy. Here’s the low-down of what I’ll find acceptable for myself during this pregnancy:

  • I’m going to gain weight. I have already. I’m okay with it.
  • I aim to eat well, and healthfully, in a balanced way during this pregnancy.
  • I aim to stay training for the whole pregnancy IN SOME FORM. I aim to adapt that as I go and be fluid and gentle in my approach.
  • I’m going to come back to training IN SOME FORM as soon as I can after the birth of Blueberry. I aim to be understanding of my body and gentle in my approach.

And let’s be honest, it’s my third baby. I have a history of previously being obese – my body is pretty darn keen to puff back out and chill in the chubby-zone. These first few month, there has been a lot of this:

pregnantorfat

Ergh.

I can’t say that it makes me happy. But it doesn’t worry me.

I have a meeting with a nutritionist this week just to chat about changes I can make to my pre-pregnancy diet that may better suit the changes in my body and hormone profile at this time in my life.

I’m still training, but at the moment that comprises two Spin/RPM classes a week and 2 small weights sessions with my weights dropped back considerably. And I’m okay with that at the moment.

So hey, if your following my blog hoping to see a girl stay super-lean, super small and bad-ass strong during a pregnancy – I apologise in advance. I’m just me. Doing my thing. As best as I can for the Blueberry and myself. And if it’s not pretty, or lean, or even particularly motivating as a fitness goal – I’m totally okay with that. You can catch me on the flipside when I get to work earning it all back with my three little people in tow.

But if you are keen to stick around, I’ll let you know how it all goes in the real world.

Thanks as always,

B

CHAPTER TEN: Alright, Alright, Everythings gonna be alright

Today I am 14 weeks and one day pregnant.

My app lovingly tells me my tiny human (whom I’ve nicknamed Blueberry) is the size of a house mouse. Nice.

My precious rodent.
image

We did the road-trip yesterday to tell my parents and The Captain’s dad and step-mother. We did the trip to his Mum last weekend. So the parents are informed.

There is a bump. I’ve been slack and not taken enough photos of it, but here is last week’s update.
image

Today is the first day of my second trimester. I feel like I can breathe a little more. Not a lot, because I know well enough that terrible things can still happen, but a little. And that’s a relief.

Still not being facebook-official about baby but letting people know as it comes up in conversation. I still get panicky about announcing anything but I’m getting calmer.

It’s gonna be alright.

B xx

Sick of being Sick. Help Me!

Sick-and-tired

First up – this is not a ‘poor me’ post. I get that the various maladies I’m afflicted by at the moment are not life threatening, not devastating to my quality of life or any sort of dire zero-hour of my health. There are people who are in those situations and I’m sorry for sooking about my health when I am not.

But I am sick.

And have been sick for a few months now and it’s starting to really get me down.

I don’t know if it’s because I stopped getting sick at the same time I started looking after my diet and losing the weight three years ago and I’m unaccustomed to the erkiness and sadness of being unwell. I’ve had three years of not much more than a common cold or two that while yes, did make me miserable, buggered off in the appropriate time frame.

This year it started with a cold, that somehow became pneumonia, that was treated with a stack of antibiotics that flared up my gastritis. Then I was better for a day and got another cold that I’ve now had for two months and I had a crazy Raynaud’s Phenomenon attack for the first time and have just got my diagnosis of Raynaud’s Disease (you can read about Raynaud’s here) with my fingers but especially my toes being significantly affected. Oh, and I still have a cold. And the gastritis is making it hard for me to eat normally and I am bloated and puffy all over.

So I’m feeling:

  • out of breath
  • snuffly/snotty/coughing gunk
  • fat/bloaty
  • in pain when I eat most things
  • Oh – and at any given time, my hands and/or feet do this….
This is Raynaud's Phenomenon. Fun, huh?

This is Raynaud’s Phenomenon. Fun, huh?

So clearly, I’m pretty much a walking sick-sook.

I need to get better. I need to figure out why this year I’ve entirely lost any immune system I ever had. Traditional (Western) medicine really has nothing to help me at the moment. Their thoughts? The gastritis will eventually get better as long as I can figure out and avoid foods and medications that inflame it. A cold should go away on it’s own. As long as you don’t have/work with/get coughed on and re-infected by small children daily. Oh wait. No way Jose. The Raynaud’s Phenomenon flare-ups can’t be avoided but I should try to never get cold. Riiiight.

So I’m not sure where to go? Do I look for some Traditional Chinese Medicine? Or look into Paleo or fermentation foods for gut health?

Help me, help me Obi-Wonky-Donkey.

Bella