Waitin’ on the Next Big Thing

Let me share with you one of my flaws. It annoys the hell out of me, but at least I know that I do it – and that makes me pretty good at catching myself doing it and spying it in other people.

No, it’s not endlessly complaining about the weather. Or interuppting. Or standing in doorways chatting holding up people trying to get through. People find those things adorable right? Right??

Huh.

It’s my habit of wanting to wait for THE NEXT BIG THING. That shiny new thing that I’m going to see/have/do next. Now, wanting something big and new is not a bad thing. But the trouble is that I sometimes lose focus on the thing I’m doing right now.

Take my nutrition approaches. At the moment, I’m working at gradually leaning down again, managing my food intolerances and still using and enjoying the flexible dieting/IIFYM approach. It’s good. It’s working for me. I’m happy and the weight is coming off, muscle staying on and I’m feeling good. BUT…. buh buh baaaa

next-big-thing-sign

I’m going to a seminar at the end of this month that will be about fat loss in the female figure athletes and competitors and I’m fascinated to hear the approach of the pro’s that are presenting. I find myself second-guessing my planning for TODAY, sneaking a few extra carb macros and losing a bit of my focus on the NOW because “I’ll probably change it all again next week”.

And it doesn’t need to be something as big as a full nutrition change. Sometimes I feel like this when I’ve ordered a new product online and I’m just waiting for it to be delivered. I won’t train legs tonight as my new tights will probably get delivered tomorrow! :p Or when I know I’m coming up to a program change for my gym sessions. Suddenly, my ‘right now’ is less shiny and important that the new whatever-it-is around the corner.

It’s a common issue for my fellow 12wbt alumni and current members for ‘between rounds’. Two weeks off turns into four kilos gained because ‘it hasn’t started yet’.

Grr.

So I can’t give authentic advice here as it’s still very much a glitch in my own journey. I own that couple of days with silly lapses and am right back onto today’s goals and aims. But with each mistake I make, it gets easier to see and feel myself holding out. Making less of today because of the promise of tomorrow.

So do the best you can with everyday – even if tomorrow promises to be bigger, better, bright or even just completely different. Like another of my favourite Roosevelt quotes (from Teddy this time though):


theperfectmoment

Tomorrow is another day, let’s make today awesome first!

Cheers Mateys,
SV

Eleanor on my Mind…

The amazing Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted as saying many very cool things. I get the feeling she was a top chick and I would have liked her very much. One of my favourite quotes of hers is this one:

inferior1

 

So particularly true in my experience.

But the Eleanor quote that it rattling around in my head today is this one:

Eleanor-Roosevelt-Quotes-5

My training has been at a bit of a standstill for a while. Between not competing, being sick, getting better, going overseas, being sick – I just haven’t trained with any sort of intensity in a while. And it shows. I miss having defined legs and great glutes. I miss feeling strong.

So today I go back into training properly. No wimping out, no half-assedness. Just setting goals and lifting things. The way it should be.

This of course scares the hell out of me. I’ve no doubt lost a lot of strength. It’s not going to be pretty. I hate not doing things well from the very beginning. I’m setting myself goals for things which I’m pretty sure I’m no good at. Which brings me to another Eleanor moment:

You Must Do the Thing Resized

 

Dang, she sure was a smart lady.

Have a great day Lovelies,

SV

Is Instagram Killing Your Confidence?

Let’s be honest first up. I LOVE social media. Instagram and Facebook are my usual modes of choice, but really, I find it interesting and as a business-person I recognise its value as a connector and profile building tool. Used well, people have built businesses and even careers by sharing. Or even more importantly, it’s the only way my parents ever have any idea of what the kids and I are up to. It’s a part of our lives and short of the zombie apocalypse, I can’t see it changing anytime soon.

It’s cool, we like it.

However, I’m seeing and hearing more about how it can also shake or break your self image and personal expectations when it comes to your health, fitness, and wellness goals.

#Nofilter? #Notlikely!

A few fitness professionals are starting to show more honest posts, showing the reality (or at least less of the perfection) – not just the professionally shot images or stage-ready bodies, but so many of the ‘Insta-famous’ majority choose to only show their highlight reels. We’ve all seen the selfies in the mirror of six-pack abs, sculpted shoulders, glutes, and legs.  We appreciate it. We aren’t dumb, we KNOW the work that goes into looking like that. The risk is that when we look at them day after day, the quiet whispers in our thinking can start to feel inadequate because we seem to not be able to measure up. I don’t look as good as XXXX XXXXXX in a bikini – therefore I don’t look good in a bikini etc.

For most of these women and men, it is a full time job. My PT clients don’t pay me to spend hours working on myself; they pay me to help them reach their goals. My work in the community centre and in fashion design don’t care at all what I look like. I’m pretty sure my kids wouldn’t care or notice at all! And more than likely, you do not get paid to be in crazy-amazing physical shape either, so give yourself a break if what you see in the mirror doesn’t resemble the pictures on Instagram or on Facebook fan pages.

So my thought for the day is to breathe, and focus for a moment on the thought that while social media can be a wonderful tool and an amazing source of motivation and inspiration, you are only seeing a small and carefully selected portion of people’s lives.  We all get to choose what we share with others for the most part – and not everyone is keeping it real. Which is absolutely their right.

Don’t be negative about yourself up because you don’t look like someone else.  Newsflash: YOU NEVER WILL.  You are unique; there is no one else in the world exactly like you. Own it, be thankful for that fact, and move on.

Just be you. You are awesome.

Peace,

SV

yourebeautifultoo

Shoulders like Boulders! Come and play in June

 

June – who wants to get sculpted with me? I do know it’s high reps by the end, but it’s a bit of fun 🙂
If you are keen on making it the month for accountability and high-rep strength building, you’ll also find great 30 day challenges for abs and butts on Instagram!

supershouldersmonth

Can I ask you a question?

Yes, you can always ask me a question. Always.

The other day I had a question pop up on Facebook chat. It happens a lot. Mostly from my friends and family asking when I’m going to make time to see them, because I’m a shocker for getting caught up in my work and kids and forget the bigger world. But this day it was a facebook friend that I have’t actually met in the real world. Someone who only knows me from my online exploits both here, on Instagram and the facebook page.

Do you sometimes find it easier to talk to strangers? I do. What follows is a simple chat I had that answers questions I get asked often, so I thought I’d share. I’m not a bitch, I did get permission to post this here too 🙂

Thanks for stopping by this weekend. Feel free to connect with me either here, instagram, facebook or twitter as I’m always happy to help out wherever I can 🙂
SV

 

Friend: Hi Bella hope you are doing well. I have a question for you and hope you can help out. I have an unhealthy relationship with food and would love to just have a freaken healthy relationship with food. I am going to a coach who will help me get the body I want but why is it that every time I go on a new healthy plan I binge eat? Or I want to eat everything because once I start to eat healthy again I am 100% on that plan. Did you had an unhealthy relationship and how did you overcome it?

 

Bella: Yep, I’ve always had a pretty disastrous relationship with food! I’ve swung from starving myself as a teen to being obese, to competing and it’s ALL hard. What has worked for me is not seeing ANYTHING as absolute anymore. I do the best I can each day. As I go to bed I ask myself “What can I do better tomorrow?” and “What went well today?” Sounds lame but even if I’ve had a blow-out binge I can usually see a positive like “I ate really well until 4pm” and it’s enough to stop it being constantly negative the way I find most approaches are!

 

Friend: That sounds like a really good idea. Do you still binge today? Did you find it very hard to be healthy still after your first comp or did you lose control?

Sorry for all these questions

 

Bella: Every now and then. It’s a thing. My ‘binges’ these days aren’t really binges, it’s just things I shouldn’t really eat. But I still work at being positive about my food and mindset. And yes, I found it REALLY hard after competing. Questions are fine – happy to help out. I should blog this conversation as I think LOTS of people would love to ask me!

 

Friend: What or who motivate you after comp to not go back to “old you” binge eat and eat and eat and eat? I am so scared once I reach comp body that after comp I will F it up again. Why do we feel like freaking binge eating? Thanks for answering my questions

 

Bella: I kind of did for a while. It’s about knowing where you are happy within yourself I guess. I don’t need to be as lean as I was on stage to be happy. I eat and train the way I do for ME to be happy. Eating crappy food all the time and feeling flubby isn’t happy for me

 

Friend: That is exactly how I feel! I am sooo much happier with skinnier and healthier me and much more self confidence but o dear do I hate being fat. This is the biggest Ive been and it is a daily struggle. I guess its still a long journey for me but I will get there. Thanks for the chat Bella I really appreciate it.

                

Bella: Any time. It a constantly evolving thing, and that’s okay! We are always changing and growing.

 

Friend: Thanks again for this chat. Not a lot of people understand the binge eating cycle so it was a good chat. I am sure I will still have heaps of questions for you in future. Hopefully one day I can help out people like you are doing now

 

Bella: Of course, happy to help out any time at all. xx

strangers

Balance is Harder than it Looks.

I try to be honest in that my motivation to be hard-core and strict has waned since last year.

After the mammoth weight loss and then going straight into competing –  I burned out. I wanted to enjoy my life and eat meals with my family that weren’t broccoli and chicken from Tupperware. I wanted to actually spend some time with my kids, rather than picking them up from school/child-care only to drive them to the gym to put them in more child-care while I trained. I wanted to be able to train because I enjoy it and the way it makes me feel, not because of a terrifying deadline looming. I wanted to be able to see my food as something more enjoyable than it’s breakdown of calories/carbs/fats/proteins and to be able to look at my body and not see my weight or my body fat percentage.

So I changed how I eat and how/when I trained. This wasn’t as much of a conscious decision as it sounds. Just a lot of small choices about my priorities right now.

The upside of this is that I am SO MUCH HAPPIER than I was in September. I’m more relaxed about everything which  makes me a better mum, a better wife and generally much less of a psycho to live with.

The downside of course, is that my body doesn’t look the way I like it to.

And that’s where I’m at right now. Happy with my life, happy with my quality time with my kids and husband but not entirely thrilled (or particularly upset) with the way that I look. I’m working on the physical side of my life but am dedicated to finding balance. As much as I enjoy competing, and enjoy the bit of a lark when I can be uber-thin – I love feeling like a happy healthy human being who can interact fully in society more. I’ve had a birthday recently and I feel like I’m old enough now to accept that anything that asks me to give up and lose more than I can hope to gain isn’t going to make me happy.

I’m having a great time working on health and wellness for children in disadvantaged areas and I do sometimes wonder what on my death-bed (in my very old age) I’ll look back on and wish I did more of. What about you?

meaningful

For me at the moment, it all comes down to balance. I KNOW that I can achieve what I want without giving up what I love. I just need to make it happen.

20140419093730_wm (1)

Happy Saturday,

SV

Tag – You’re Sh*t.

Let’s get this clear right out of the box.

I used to own a business that had multiple offices and many staff.

I ALSO used to weigh closer to 300lbs than I ever would have admitted.

I trained in a gym for A LONG TIME before my body looked like someone who trains in a gym.

Today doing the rounds of the interwebz is a screen-shot of a bitchy nothing taking a snarky stab at people in this weight bracket who chose to go to a gym to train. Huh, what a mole?!

tag you're shit block

So, this creature thinks women (or is it just one woman?) over 300lb are disturbing. Well, I think bullying is disturbing. And don’t get me started on bad grammar.

But she TAGGED herself at the gym where she was clearly training and those same 300lb people that she so clearly wishes to not see exercising also were.

She’s rude, wrong and way out of line. But for me, I keep coming back to the fact that a business (whose entire basis for operating is improving the health and fitness of the widest possible market share it can get it’s hands on) has been implicated in this mental peanut’s crappy behavior.

Is it right for them to be copping the flack from such a comment going viral? Probably not.

Fairly or unfairly, a business reputation is built on not only what you say and do but what those associated to you say and do. In this age of social media, that web gets cast pretty darn wide and is bound to catch some turds. Would you allow your own business and living to be marred because someone does something stupid while aligning themselves with you?

Is it a fantastic opportunity for them to show support to the majority of gym-goers who AREN’T the poster children (yet) of fitness but who are in there paying fees and slogging it out anyway? – HECK YES IT IS.

Stand up SnapFitnessCaloundra and be good enough to show your members that they are valued, regardless of where they are right now and that you won’t tolerate bullies in your gym.

Maybe you want to pop over to their facebook page and shoot them a message to encourage them to stand up for ALL of their members and developing a happier, safer and all-round more awesome training ground for everyone.

And if I was that judgmental pelican’s SEXXAAAY personal trainer – I’d be very happily down one client from today. Bullies are way not sexxaaay.

Peace out,

SV