In my head, I still have dreams that I might one day grow up to be an elegant lady. Highly, highly unlikely given that I am now in my (quite early) thirties but still regularly trip over my own feet, leave the house without brushing my hair, my teeth or some either vital aspect of proper presentation. But most of the time I give looking like a decent grown up a red hot go.
The exception is my slippers. You see, it gets cold here on the frozen island. As soon as I walk in the door, from the months of April to October, I put slippers on. But not just any slippers. Tall ugg boots. The shameful but accurate unofficial uniform of the great Australian bogan.
But what is a bogan? Just in case you are blissfully unaware:
I should be ashamed. Really. Proper ladies do not wear ugg boots. But I do. However, there are rules.
– My ugg boots must not ever been seen beyond the limits of our letterbox.
– Even then, I must make sure there are no cars in the street if I make the dash to the letterbox with my boots on.
– I will deny, if asked in public. that these are my favorite shoes.
– If the doorbell rings and I don’t know who is there, I take my boots off before opening the door. You never know, Prince Harry AND George Clooney are both still single.
But in my darkest moments, when I worry about my affection for bogan footwear I have one consoling thought;
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (one of the classiest and most elegant women in history) had a proud and very extensive collection of beer cans.