So, I’ve gone and done something exciting….

I was talking this week with a complete stranger about what my future plans are.

It’s sometimes the best, this speaking to a stranger thing. The people who know and love me are too gentle with me. Afraid to make me feel awkward or hurt me because they know that what happened this year was a horrible way to have left real estate and a career that I loved. That I still really love.

But strangers don’t know this. They know that I’m not currently attached to a high profile company. And that’s it.

So, what are my future plans? As the typical entrepreneur that I am; it’s a multi-pronged attack.

I’m still working very hard on my passion project ‘Catch the Bouquet’. It’s an online store for affordable bridal and evening wear and being the sole trader, sole designer and head honcho of this little gem brings me so much joy. You may have figured out by now that sparkly pretty things are a much valued part of my existence. 🙂

I still have some ties to real estate. I still love it. I’m still great at it. And I never say never. But I am saying ‘not right this second’.

I’ll still be running the blog. Mostly because it’s my clear headspace. It’s where my bottled thoughts can pour out most easily and it appears that this brain spillage is actually amusing/helpful to someone sometimes which makes it doubly worthwhile. I like that I can share the things that have worked for me during my transformation and let you know when things are a little off track. I’ve got plans here for letting loose some more of my recipes and of course, still sharing the journey to the hottest bod I can get with you.

But, I hear you ask, what is the big news??

Today, little old Sailor Vee (who just over a year ago was 112kg and a shell of the person she wanted to be) has signed up to study to become a personal trainer. I’ll be qualified next year.

Um yep. Awesomeness 🙂

The PT qualifications are the first in a long line of study that I want to follow as I move towards my goal of helping people achieve their health, fitness and life goals, however long the road feels in the beginning. And I know how it feels, because I’m still travelling it every day.

So that’s my news. Be prepared for a bright and glorious future. I know I am.

With love and bags of excitement,

Sailor Vee

 

If I make it, I’ll eat it.

Ok. So we know my mindset has been a little shaky at the start of this new round. I’ve eaten badly, drank too much wine and been generally apathetic.

So while I wait for my mind to catch up, I’ve decided to be uber good. Which means being uber organised.

So this is what I got organised on my Sunday afternoon. All my breakfasts and lunches for the week.

image

image

See, this makes me happy. And happy is good.

Buon Appetit

Sailor Vee

This is not the post I wanted to write.

So, in the almost 5 days that I’ve been home I’ve been planning what to write in my epic ‘post Sydney’ post. I was thinking of writing about some behind the scenes news on my Woman’s Day photo-shoot, the hilariously fun fashion parade I modelled in for One Active, my awesome finale dress, the great night out I had with the girls and the million other things I loved about being away.

But I didn’t write that post. I kept holding off. I kept finding excuses.

Something about the trip to Sydney has really freaked me out.

I have no idea what I look like.

It snuck up on me. At the photoshoot for Woman’s Day on the Friday, the amazing photographer George (http://fetting.com.au/) regularly let me check the monitors and of course the girls and I were selfie-photo mad. So I saw lots of images of myself. I looked fit. Active. Healthy. And in my wildly active imagination, my natty red, white and blue outfit made me look like a member of the US Olympic swim team. And that’s exactly how I felt.

Image

Image

I didn’t feel like a supermodel, or anything special. But I did feel like it was an accurate capturing of where I am. And I loved that. I got the same feeling at the workout the next day. Even in the quick snapshots on the day, I was happy. Fit, healthy, smaller than I feel in my head – but that’s great.

Image

Image

I had an AMAZING time at the finale. As a member of the top 20, I got to be up on stage and wave to everyone. And I won ‘blogger of the round’ which is super lovely and a real honour. I LOVED meeting so many people and felt uber glamorous. Until I saw some of the photos. People would snap a photo and show me the screen and each time I would feel a little weirder.

It’s not that I didn’t like the way I looked. The person in the photos looked great. But my head couldn’t in any way reconcile that it was me. It was confusing. So I ignored it. But for people playing the ‘has she lost her mind’ game at home, it was photos like these:

Image

Image

Image

I tried desperately not to think about it until I got home. Living in the travel bubble, it’s easy to hide from the internet if you want to.

Something hasn’t been sitting right in my head since I got home. Part of it is the ‘come-down’ of a MASSIVE weekend. It’s seriously hard to imagine how busy/awesome/refreshing/challenging it is to hang out with some of my favorite people while getting to/from photo-shoots, fashion parades, in and out of hair and make-up sessions, dinners and breakfasts out. To come back to my normal life is both blissful and disruptively ‘normal’.

But where the freakout truly is is in those finale photos. In that weird mental break where I realise undoubtedly that I still have quite a skewed perspective of how I look. It’s not that ‘wow, I didn’t realise I was so pretty!’ surprise. It’s a complete mental inability to realise that person in the photos is me.

As someone who has struggled with body image and body dysmorphia my whole life, knowing that I am still not on top of this worries me. It means that there is scope for me to not be in control.

So I need to learn who I am all over again. While I’m still training with the aim of continuing to change and improve my body. This becomes the opposite of Operation Short Term, Hard Core. This becomes Operation Rest of my Life.

And I’m not quite sure on a plan of attack right now. So when in doubt, I go back to my default plan. For two days there that was wine and a lot of processed foods. Enough now. I know what I need to do while I get my head straight.

Eat clean, move my ass, repeat.

Love (and thanks as always for listening to the rants of a Sailor Vee adrift)

SV

A Quick Sailor Vee Re-Cap

The 12wbt Round 3 finale was held in Sydney. Always one to make the most of a weekend away I managed to cram in a photoshoot and interview with Woman’s Day magazine, a fashion parade modelling the One Active by Michelle Bridges line for Big W, the awesome group workout and finale party where I was delighted to pick up an award as Blogger of the Round. Whew. T’was amazing. Here’s some sneaky pics 🙂

Homeward Bound

Sitting cross-legged on the filthy carpet in a departure lounge, it’s hard to imagine this has been one of the most fun, inspiring, liberating and glamorous weekends of my life.

Right now I’d settle for a seat.

Full recap with exclusive behind the scenes access and photos to come ASAP.

See you soon,

Sailor Vee