I HAD a problem saying it out loud

I was at the gym the other day, speaking with a brand new 12wbt’er about my success on the program and how much I love it. Then she asked the question everyone asks. How much have you lost?

And this is where my funny little brain makes it tricky. I’m EXCEPTIONALLY proud of my efforts on the program. I’ve lost about 33kg. But the problem is that I’m still so mortified about my starting point that I don’t say that out loud. Because I was fat. Really fat. And I don’t think I ever dealt with the shame I felt about that.

So I let this fear of someone figuring out my start weight from my awesome weightloss stop me celebrating. I don’t have a ticker on the forums, I don’t wear my weight loss numbers with any pride.

So it stops here.

I weighed 112 kgs (247lbs) at my heaviest. And no, I don’t mean while pregnant. I saw that and cried, and cried, then took some radically stupid diet pills before crashing at 107kgs and finding the 12wbt.

I’ve lost over 32kg. I’m getting pretty close to my goal. And I’m brave enough now to own up to where I’ve been, so that I can be clear on where I’m going.

Getting there!


Sailor Vee

9 thoughts on “I HAD a problem saying it out loud

    • Thanks! It’s still really scary to me, but I do feel it’s important. If nothing else, to let go of the shame I feel about having been overweight so I can feel better about my own journey. If it helps others as well, super awesome 🙂

  1. I love that you’ve said it out loud. I started at 112.3. I was mortified. And yet now I own it, so that I can acknowledge how far I’ve come. So be proud and shout out your loss, it’s trimly inspiring.

    • It took me long enough! I really think
      I would have had much less roadblocks along the way if I’d got to this point earlier. But I’m here now. And moving forward like a skinny ninja 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s