What do you say?

I have a friend who is having trouble in their marriage.

And this friend exists. I don’t mean it in a ‘I have this friend who keeps a blog and is obsessed with all things Michelle Bridges and baby spinach’ way. This shit is sadly real.

I’d love to give them the advice they asked me for. Hell knows, my own marriage to the Captain has had it’s challenges and I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve had times where I wanted to leave and I know for sure that he did almost leave me. But somehow we’re still here. And stronger than ever.

But why?

My advice would sound simplistic and probably stupid to someone in the throes of real unhappiness. I guess it is simple, but after a decade, it still doesn’t feel stupid.

Commit to the journey.

More than anything else in the world, I am committed to my husband and my family. Unless the world ends (or something literally as life altering) I’m married.

He’s not the man I married. He’s that plus the experiences and growth of time. I’m most certainly not the woman he married. I’ve been challenged (and no doubt challenging!) have grown and am a better person because of it.

If we were playing the short game, it would have been over years ago.

My beautiful friend Jane gave me some amazing Christian advice while surviving the business ordeal. Life has seasons, and some are crappy. But seasons change. You just need to learn to weather the season you are in. I probably paraphrased that as I’m pretty sure the word ‘crappy’ isn’t in the bible though.

But even the gist of that idea is right for me, in my life and experiences.

But for every tidbit of advice that I’ve found useful over the years both personally and in business there are THOUSANDS that made me mad, made me hopeless or at least something other than hopeful.

So I haven’t offered advice to my friend. I’ve offered my shoulder and my time but I’m not sure that anyone outside a marriage can really offer advice to those inside it.

With the wind missing from my sails,

Sailor Vee

2 thoughts on “What do you say?

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