Why average is terrifying…

I’m not even going to apologise for not writing recently.

You know the deal by now:

  • I now have 3 kids – aged 9, 5 and 9 months. YIKES.
  • I adore working
  • So much so that I am back working four jobs (2 of which are my own small businesses)
  • I’m married to an equally hard-working shift worker who also works full time with 2 side roles

Life is flipping bedlam.

Really.

I struggle with writing for my own blog because I still struggle with so much on so many levels. I see reminder/flashback posts of what I was doing 2/3/4 years ago and think – wow, this morning I was chuffed that there were clean undies in the laundry basket, enough fruit to pack lunchboxes and I got out of the house remotely on time to get kids to school and myself to the office before I was noticeably late.

And by comparison to other days recently, that’s a fecking high point. Really.

But that’s normal right? A mum of 3, who works a lot, but also wants to hang out with her kids, who would also like to train 3-4 times a week and eat food that didn’t see a microwave more often is going to have those days. Those days where I fail on at least 2 of those points.

So why is it such a worry? Why am I so worried about people think I have an average life?

The truth I think is somewhere in the fact that my blog is still my imaginary friend. I still like to think that I’ve got a wicked privacy lock on here and it’s just my thoughts spilling across a keyboard for me to read at some later day.

And I hate that there is no adventure.

No ticking clock.

No grand achievements.

Me. I hate that. Not that I feel other people will be surprised or disappointed that I’m not a jet-setting superstar with abs and designer sunglasses.

Just the slow march of family life (which I love), of chipping away at work (that I love) in a calm and serene little island home (still love it).

So my options are: become more settled with an average life OR find a way to build a sense of adventure back in. On no free time, little sleep and other things to be spending large amounts of money on (so no selling up to live in a caravan for a year!).

It’s what I’m pondering today. Just being your average Sailor Vee.

What’s on your mind?

Thanks as always for being out there, my imaginary friends xx

SV

family-collage-august16

In my arms

I feel a lot like I’m failing at life most days. The house is a mess and I always seem to be trying to catch up on something. But underneath it all, I know I’m winning at the the things that really matter. My boys are fed, clean and most of all, know how deeply and forever loved they are. Even the littlest one.

XO,

B

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Your dad is away.
There are
dishes in the sink
in the dishwasher
on the floor.
But here you are, in my arms.

Your brothers are at school.
There is
laundry in the hamper
in the dryer
on the floor.
But here you are, in my arms.

Everyone else is asleep.
I could lay you down
in your cot
in your swing
on the floor.
But here you are, in my arms.

The world turns so fast.
These moments fly away.
A second.
A day.
A week.
But here you are, in my arms.

You will be small for so little time.
Then you will be off to explore.
Finding your feet.
Making your voice heard.
Exploring your world.
But, right now, you are here in my arms.
Dishes will wait.
Laundry will wait.
I could ask you to wait.
But time never will.
So rest close to me for now.
For as long as you will.
Here, my son, in my arms.

Go Love Yourself!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

If you’ve been anywhere near the media in any shape or form today, you’ve been inundated with pictures of roses, dinners and breakfasts with lovers and crazy displays of affection – so I’ll spare you from all of that here!

I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. I subscribe to the philosophy that we love the ones we love EVERY DAY. While I think it’s lovely that people go a bit crazy, it’s not something I feel I need to do. Or to receive. So if you are like me, and find yourself minus flowers and chocolate and ‘fluff and fuss’ on Valentine’s Day – think of the people you love and who love you and how you can show them that tomorrow, or next week, or some random Tuesday in June.

One thought I DO subscribe to is making sure you are on your own list of ‘loved ones’. Loving yourself is more important than I can ever stress. We spend so much time thinking of the things we don’t have, can’t do, are not being – that we forget to really love who we are. Do something today that is special FOR YOU. Have the glass of wine, use the nice shower gel, light the nice candle when you eat dinner etc. Because a big part of being committed to a healthier life is VALUING yourself.

Much love!
Bella

This Christmas, be human. Make Contact.

So it’s Christmas Eve.

Another year, another frantic scramble to have things ready. I know I’m rushing around like a crazy person. So much to do, so much to do!!

I saw this clip a couple of months ago and even without the crazed pregnancy hormones, it was enough to make me weep.

Have a watch:

See? So sweet.

But here’s a tip. There are people you KNOW, people that you LOVE that might not be feeling that love (or any love) at the moment. For whatever reason.

Here’s what I’d like you to do.

MAKE CONTACT – Seriously, grab your people (I mean whoever is close. Kids/dogs/cats/flatmates/weirdo neighbour Phil), grab your phone, take a silly photo of yourselves and send it with a personalised, individual message to the people in your contacts list that you hope have a lovely, happy and safe Christmas and holidays. It doesn’t need to be an essay, just a “Hey, from all of us, have an amazing Christmas and thanks for being an important part of my life”

For the older people in your life, pick up the damn phone and call them. I know our whole generation HATES making phone calls, but guess what? For the generations older than us, it can be a life line. There just isn’t an app for that. JUST PICK UP THE PHONE.

Put a card in your neighbour’s letterboxes. It’s okay if you don’t know their names, or even if you don’t want to give them yours. A nice “Have a great Christmas and New Year Neighbours! From the crew at Number Seventeen” is sweet, and for all you know may be the only message of joy they get this year.

The thing that makes us human is our relationships. All around us, we are seeing a breakdown in how we relate to each other, how we interact and how we communicate. Let’s be more human this coming year.

Merry Christmas Eve Peeps, you really are an important part of my life and I value you. More than you can possibly know.

With Love,

Bella

Lower Carbs? Why? Why not?

I see a lot about people who’ve dieted or lost weigh in the past becoming ‘carb-phobic’. This incredible fear of eating carbs, any carbs for the fear of getting fat.

So when I tell people that I live a lower-carb lifestyle all of the time, I get some pitying glances. I get people making assumptions about my knowledge around the role carbohydrates play in a healthy balanced diet, and I get people who strangely feel sorry for me as if I am missing out on life.

The thing is, as an individual human being, I’m not very carbohydrate tolerant. What that means for me is that I react with food intolerances to MANY types of refined carbs causing bloating, rashes, bowel issues and general unhappiness. So it makes sense that I choose not to eat too many of those. I handle unrefined and ‘real’ sources of carbohydrates much much better so have no real issue with most fruit and all vegetables, so don’t feel any need to limit those. But just by choosing not to eat the carbohydrate sources that upset me, means that my life looks pretty low-carb a lot of the time.

I do not believe that EVERYONE needs to reduce their carbohydrate intake. In fact, I’d love everyone to get a huge part of their nutrition from the beautiful vegetable sources and some of the colorful fruits that we have available to us.

For example, let’s look at the Captain. He is a lean body type, from a strong family generation of lean body types. He is active but not excessively so. BUT, if I try as I have in the past,to reduce the amount of carbohydrates in his diet – he feels awful. He doesn’t have any food intolerances, and handles even processed foods fairly well. So there is no need to try to reduce them from that point. What I do like to do is encourage him (and our boys who are the same) to eat the most nutritionally packed forms of carbs rather than the nutritionally-void mega-processed options.

As a pregnant person, it gets a bit tricky. Lots of the reading material does not support a lower-carb eating style while pregnant. I was worried that what I know from personal experience as a good way of eating for me would be detrimental to a growing baby. So I spoke with a nutritionist and got some confirmation that the way that I eat is still balanced, and healthy and not at all concerning.

It’s pretty simple. I still eat by this principle:

My food pyramid

See? Lots of colour, lots of variety and I’m not missing out on anything!

Let me know your thoughts – what do YOU do differently? And more importantly – what have you found that works for YOU?

Cheers

Bella

It’s not easy being round

I’m having one of those days today. Went to the pool for the first time this pregnancy and almost had a panic attack because I’m sure I just look fat rather then 19 weeks pregnant. And the skirt I’m trying to wear is an under-bump style and the elastic keeps rolling/folding (the same way that too-small clothes did when I was an overweight person) and making me feel awful about myself. Booo 😦