Hmmm…

Is my little bloggy-wog still here?

Am I?

Who even knows!

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Why average is terrifying…

I’m not even going to apologise for not writing recently.

You know the deal by now:

  • I now have 3 kids – aged 9, 5 and 9 months. YIKES.
  • I adore working
  • So much so that I am back working four jobs (2 of which are my own small businesses)
  • I’m married to an equally hard-working shift worker who also works full time with 2 side roles

Life is flipping bedlam.

Really.

I struggle with writing for my own blog because I still struggle with so much on so many levels. I see reminder/flashback posts of what I was doing 2/3/4 years ago and think – wow, this morning I was chuffed that there were clean undies in the laundry basket, enough fruit to pack lunchboxes and I got out of the house remotely on time to get kids to school and myself to the office before I was noticeably late.

And by comparison to other days recently, that’s a fecking high point. Really.

But that’s normal right? A mum of 3, who works a lot, but also wants to hang out with her kids, who would also like to train 3-4 times a week and eat food that didn’t see a microwave more often is going to have those days. Those days where I fail on at least 2 of those points.

So why is it such a worry? Why am I so worried about people think I have an average life?

The truth I think is somewhere in the fact that my blog is still my imaginary friend. I still like to think that I’ve got a wicked privacy lock on here and it’s just my thoughts spilling across a keyboard for me to read at some later day.

And I hate that there is no adventure.

No ticking clock.

No grand achievements.

Me. I hate that. Not that I feel other people will be surprised or disappointed that I’m not a jet-setting superstar with abs and designer sunglasses.

Just the slow march of family life (which I love), of chipping away at work (that I love) in a calm and serene little island home (still love it).

So my options are: become more settled with an average life OR find a way to build a sense of adventure back in. On no free time, little sleep and other things to be spending large amounts of money on (so no selling up to live in a caravan for a year!).

It’s what I’m pondering today. Just being your average Sailor Vee.

What’s on your mind?

Thanks as always for being out there, my imaginary friends xx

SV

family-collage-august16

In my arms

I feel a lot like I’m failing at life most days. The house is a mess and I always seem to be trying to catch up on something. But underneath it all, I know I’m winning at the the things that really matter. My boys are fed, clean and most of all, know how deeply and forever loved they are. Even the littlest one.

XO,

B

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Your dad is away.
There are
dishes in the sink
in the dishwasher
on the floor.
But here you are, in my arms.

Your brothers are at school.
There is
laundry in the hamper
in the dryer
on the floor.
But here you are, in my arms.

Everyone else is asleep.
I could lay you down
in your cot
in your swing
on the floor.
But here you are, in my arms.

The world turns so fast.
These moments fly away.
A second.
A day.
A week.
But here you are, in my arms.

You will be small for so little time.
Then you will be off to explore.
Finding your feet.
Making your voice heard.
Exploring your world.
But, right now, you are here in my arms.
Dishes will wait.
Laundry will wait.
I could ask you to wait.
But time never will.
So rest close to me for now.
For as long as you will.
Here, my son, in my arms.

Go Love Yourself!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

If you’ve been anywhere near the media in any shape or form today, you’ve been inundated with pictures of roses, dinners and breakfasts with lovers and crazy displays of affection – so I’ll spare you from all of that here!

I’m not a huge fan of Valentine’s Day. I subscribe to the philosophy that we love the ones we love EVERY DAY. While I think it’s lovely that people go a bit crazy, it’s not something I feel I need to do. Or to receive. So if you are like me, and find yourself minus flowers and chocolate and ‘fluff and fuss’ on Valentine’s Day – think of the people you love and who love you and how you can show them that tomorrow, or next week, or some random Tuesday in June.

One thought I DO subscribe to is making sure you are on your own list of ‘loved ones’. Loving yourself is more important than I can ever stress. We spend so much time thinking of the things we don’t have, can’t do, are not being – that we forget to really love who we are. Do something today that is special FOR YOU. Have the glass of wine, use the nice shower gel, light the nice candle when you eat dinner etc. Because a big part of being committed to a healthier life is VALUING yourself.

Much love!
Bella